i’d say the best thing i have learned this year is to just let people be who they naturally are. no psychoanalyzing them, no overthinking my actions, no asking what i could possibly do to keep their presence in my life. i just bring my best self to the table and always move from a place of love and respect. how that person responds is ultimately up to them. if that causes them to exit my life, i just let it happen. i will never be in the business of changing people. people are only ever ready to change when they’ve made the conscious decision to. all i can do is check myself and be kind always.
this is SUCH a hard lesson to learn if you have anxious attachment problems. you’re constantly scheming to keep someone in your life, even at the expense of your mental health. i’ve been there so many times. it’s literally the most horrible feeling in the world, and it puts so much pressure on you to act the exact way you think the other person wants you to. all just so they grace you w the bare minimum. i feel so much lighter now that i literally just allow people to show who they are and let them fade out of my life organically. it’s brought me so much peace
the idea that your friends won’t like you if you’re too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying “going insane all by yourself, handsome?” which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that’s friendship.
Crazy how we are everything that has happened to us but then you meet someone and you don’t see everything that has happened to them you just see them. And you both try to explain everything that has happened to you but your words and memories are so biased and oversimplified.
romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering
life is just humiliating yourself over and over and learning to live with the inherent shame of being alive !! do what makes you happy !! it is impossible to live life without embarrassment, so why bother trying !!
this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability
